When I’m back home and the action takes place at mine, I like the quick and tender exit. He was fast asleep, emitting the occasional gentle snore. In deciding what to do, try to take your cue from what your host is doing and what you would like the person to do if the tables were turned. In the morning, you have several options to choose from: you can lie in bed staring at the person’s back and waiting until your host wakes up before getting out of bed to avoid waking them you can get ready and leave as quickly as possible or, you can make the good times last and initiate morning sex. Rule 6Ĭhoose the considerate morning option. Me (invisible palm to forehead): Yes, that’s the right spelling. Ridiculous, really:Ī or D: Hey, is this how you spell your name?Ī or D: Yeah, you wrote your name down last night so I could add you on Facebook. Someone whose name you would not know if it hadn’t been for Facebook. Meeting up more than once makes it some kind of half-arsed affair with someone you don’t know at all. This negates the whole ‘one night only’ aspect. It’s un-ladylike and instantly cuts your sex appeal in half. Try not to throw up noisily in the person’s bathroom. What’s worse than a dick? A show-off dick with better sexcapades than me. Me: Uh… um… not since I’ve been travelling. Particularly if you are likely to lose the competition (it’s always a competition): So yeah, you are the first.ĭon’t talk about your sex history. Me: No, you’re not my first German… oh wait, they were Dutch, not German. I’m almost 95% sure his started with an A. So here is the global traveller’s guide to one-night stands: Rule 1 Now, in strange lands with vastly different cultures and undetermined ages, it becomes more important than ever to practice good one-night stand etiquette. The one that ends in a good, old-fashioned one-night stand. You know that way, right? The one which involves bars with buy-one-get-one-free offers, kicking up water in the neon-lit monsoon-flooded streets, and getting thrown out of go-go bars for rowdy behaviour.
Particularly if you are likely to lose the competition (it’s always a competition)Luckily, the good old-fashioned way steps in to save the day.